


Duplicity is the act of deceit; Honesty is an act of love

by l0v3lyking



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Betrayal, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Kuvira (Avatar) Redemption, Reader-Insert, Ruins of the Empire Comics (Avatar), Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-15 22:15:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29690730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/l0v3lyking/pseuds/l0v3lyking
Summary: After betraying Kuvira to help Bolin and Varrick escape, Y/N must navigate how to cope with the still open wounds of her love for her. She'd been doing fine being on team avatar until there is news of Commander Guan refusing to surrender. With that comes the cold hard fact that she will have to see Kuvira again. Can she learn to trust her again for the sake of the world?Note: takes place during ruins of the empire, post the finale for legend of korra.
Relationships: Korra/Asami Sato, Kuvira (Avatar)/Reader, Mako/Prince Wu (Avatar)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 40





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic. SO, constructive criticism is happily accepted. But don't be rude or I'll have to turn the comments off. I just knew that there weren't many y/n x kuvira fanfics and decided to take it upon myself to make one. So enjoy :)!

“You know this isn’t right.” Bolin says to Varrick as he hands him a wrench. “Funny story, Bolin” Varrick answers as he continues to work on the machine “I first got the idea for harnessing spirit power when I watched that giant unalaaq monster attack the city from my jail cell.” Varrick turns to Bolin slowly, “Trust me kid, I know what I’m doing.” Ambiguity laced in his words. Bolin kneads his eyebrows together with confusion. He turns to you in search of an answer but you simply shrug your shoulders.

Suddenly Varrick gets up from his crouched position, “That ought to do it.” Everyone stares as nothing happens. Varrick leans in knocking on the glass “huh”. “Okay, stand back.” You and Bolin move to the side as Varrick readies his foot to kick the machine. It starts to fire up at immediate contact making a ticking sound.

“What’s that ticking?” Baatar asks standing mere inches away from it in front of the guards. “That’s the timer!” Varrick says putting his hands on his hips. “The timer for what?” Baatar asks growing more frustrated. “The bomb of course!” You say putting your hands in a ‘duh’ motion. Varrick snaps his head to you, “Hey I wanted to say it!”

“Woah, Woah! What bomb?” Bolin cries bringing his hands to his head. You give Varrick a chance to explain this time “The bomb that’s gonna go off in five minutes and destroy this whole train with the spirit vines, and, ya know, everything else within a few hundred yards” Bolin frantically looks around. You take a few small steps towards Bataar. “I’d get out of here if I were you. He’s never built a bomb before and the timer might run a little fast. You seem like you have a lot to live for.” You taunt while keeping steady eye contact with him. His expression changes from surprise to disbelief. “He’s bluffing!” He snarls looking at Varrick. “Stick around 5 minutes and you’ll find out who’s bluffing.” Varrick answers with confidence “You’ll be sorry you left me zhu-li!”

Bolin grabs Varricks collar, but Varrick doesn’t look at him “NO, No, No, I’m not ready to go down with the train. I have so much to live for!” You almost chuckle at Bolin’s hysteria. You have now taken up a spot leaning against the edge of the train in front of a window, confidence spewing out of you. You knew Varrick was crazy and later confirmed it when he told you his plan in the cell while Bolin was being very Bolin-ish. But you also knew that crazy was the only plan you had so you just went along with it.

“Enough! What makes you think we’d let you blow yourself up?” Bataar asks “You’re working for Kuvira, you don’t get to quit.” He snaps his fingers, “Grab them!” You widen your eyes in fear. You look at Varrick hoping he’ll come up with something to do but he also seems to be growing fearful as the guards inch towards them. He looks to the guard behind him as he pulls a remote out of his pocket. “You try to pull me away from this thing and I’ll blow us all up immediately” He says. “Wait what?” You say as you take a shallow step towards Varrick switching your focus between him and the remote in his hand. “ We’re gonna blow up anyways, remember” He shrugs. But he leaves a subtle look in his eye, urging you to trust him. You remain uneasy but silent.

“Why do you have a timer and a remote?” Bataar asks inquisitively. You and Bolin look at him wondering the same thing. “First I built the timer, But then I thought what if you try to drag me off the ship then I need the remote. Then I thought do I really need the timer… WHATEVER!” He abruptly ends his spiraling tangent “The point is you’re leaving, we’re staying” Bataar doesn’t say anything as a guard comes behind him tapping him on the shoulder. “What should we do?” The guard says. Bataar lets out an annoyed huff “Leave them, their all dead anyways.”

— — 

You, Bolin and Varrick stand by the door as the last of the trains occupants enter the train car in front of you. “That should be the last of this half of the train” You proclaim. “Good, We’re almost out of time” Varrick reveals. Bataar turns to look at you and Varrick “You’re both insane” You narrow your eyes at him. You never liked Bataar even before you developed feelings for Kuvira. To you he was just a sniveling creature Kuvira only kept around to build her empire. But you were more to her though, you knew even now as continued to betray her. “Y/n, do the thing” Varrick commands. You move to side of the door, pulling the lever to unhook the cars. Their door closes as you watch them travel farther and farther away through the small tinted window. “Well,” You exclaim “How are we gonna turn this thing off?” Bolin wonders the same thing, looking slightly relieved. “We’re not. Its gonna blow up.” Varrick answers nonchalantly. Bolin’s relief is short lived as his eyes widen; your’s do the same. “What!” You both say incredulously. “We had a good run didnt we” Varrick says. “Oh, no,no,no I’m not done running” You say pushing past the two of them looking for a way off the train. “Neither am I!” Bolin exclaims, cupping his face with his hands. Your search is suddenly halted as a hatch door on the floor grabs your eye. You stride towards it opening it to see the train track below. Your face lightens up as you are hit with an idea. “Bolin, can you dig a tunnel for 3 people?” You ask turning your head towards them. “Yeah why” His words muffled by his hands. Varrick taps his shoulder causing him to look up, he turns towards you. “I think I found a way off this train!” You say confidently.


	2. She asked about you

You weren’t doing so well.

Maybe you realized it when you isolated yourself in your new room on air temple island instead of getting to know the people you once looked up to. Maybe it was when you would lie still all day in your darkened room just staring at the wall wishing someone was beside you. Wishing that she was beside you. Maybe it was when you couldn’t differentiate the aches of hunger, to the aches of your heart; and that it scared you because you almost welcomed it to be able to feel something.

This is the life that you had lived for the past few weeks, and it was miserable. When you left with Bolin and Varrick, immediately you could feel this guilt gnawing at you in the back of your mind, like a leech to warm skin. It was easier to ignore it before, to put it in a corner of your mind to forget in the abyss of emotions you had felt at the time. Working with team avatar to inevitably defeat Kuvira had been the best distraction. Even when your heart stopped beating watching her mecha suit plummet to the ground.Or when you ran, and ran towards the spirit wilds in hopes of finding her only to almost be hit by a massive explosion. Even thinking about it now you hated her for what she had done. And yet you found yourself completely handicapped by your love for her.

You lay in your bed, staring up at the weathered, wooden ceiling. The premature sun brought shallow yellow beams through your paper window. The room was still cast in a bluish hue leaving remembrance of the recent night. You shifted slightly under the covers, turning your body towards the wooden table at your bedside. A picture. Of you, no more than a year ago with Bolin and Varrick.You looked happy, like the life hadn’t been sucked out of you leaving the hollow shell of yourself you see in the mirror today. Bolin noticed too. Even though he didn't say anything you still saw the concern in his eyes when he talked to you. Hell, even looked at you.

You pushed yourself up, swinging your legs over the edge of the bed to stand. You swayed slightly as the blood rushed to your head, your vision became darker before returning back to normal. _Iprobably need to eat_ you’d thought. You quickly tugged your clothes on before making your bed and heading for the eating hall. As you approached the door, a delicious aroma filled your nostrils causing you to adorn a slight smile. Walking in you immediately noticed that everyone was already up and seated at the table. Korra next to Asami. Bolin next Mako. And Tenzin with the rest of his family. You silently continued to an empty pillow between Asami and Bolin as conversations temporarily quieted at your arrival. You crossed your legs sitting between them with your chin down. All eyes were on you as you scooped what was left of breakfast in your bowl and began to eat.

“I can make more if you're hungry.” Pema offered, projecting to you at the end of the table.

You looked up at her“No, it’s fine. I’m not really that hungry, anyway.” You went back to eating your small amount of food.

“We’ve actually been meaning to talk to you about that” Asami says “I know we haven’t known each other for a long time but you are a good person and a good friend.”

“But?” You questioned setting your bowl down.“But we are concerned for your well being. You haven’t eaten a proper meal in 4 days and the food you do it is of little proportion. You stay in your rom all day instead of coming out like you did before. All of us are worried about you, even Meelo”She joked.

You turned to the end of the table where Meelo was. His shoulders were slumped as his chest rose and fell in a gentle, slow rhythm. A snot bubble expanded and shrunk with every breath he took. His eyes were closed.

You snorted, “ I think Meelo is asleep.” Tenzin turned to him, gently shoving his shoulder in which he didn't respond.

“He was probably up training poki again.” Icki chuckled. Everyone laughed. Tenzin rubbed his temple sighing until he eventually laughed a little himself. The chuckles died down as Bolin interjected loudly “We’re getting off topic! What is going on with you?”

You stared at him before looking down again. An immediate silence swept over the room so still you could hear a pin drop. You sighed, closing your eyes for a few seconds. You debated whether you would tell them what was really going on. Whether you would allow your self to open that wound, spilling blood out in the form of words. You decided against it. You weren’t ready today.

“ I appreciate your concern for my….. well being. But I assure you this all under control. Just leave it at that, please ” You begged looking to the many faces around the table. No one responded. No one argued with you. They simply stayed silent.

“So,” You changed the subject “How is the election coming? You all had a meeting with Zhu li yesterday,how did that go?”

“We’ve got an issue.” Korra started “There is a group of holdouts in Gaoling that never surrendered which is making Wu’s upcoming election risky.” Your face contorted with confusion “I thought we had gotten all the troops when Kuvira surrendered, how are there holdouts in Gaoling?”

“That’s what we thought too. But it turns out these groups are being led by one of Kuvira’s Former Commanders, Guan.” Bolin answered. You had heard his name from time to time in meetings but had never actually met him. However you guessed he was a strong and formidable leader the way Kuvira talked about him.

“Wait, so how is wu handling this?” You asked. Knowing him he probably swooned over the couch begging for them to go with him.

“He’s the one that told us. He practically begged for us to escort him” Mako added. You were halfway right with that one.

“So what’s the plan? Goin’ on another mission as team avatar?” You inquired, a grin forming in the corner of your mouth. You reached for the pitcher full of water to fill your cup.

“Not exactly” Korra replied “ I was actually gonna go talk to Kuvira.” You halted at her words. The whole table seemed to.You glanced at Asami, capturing a grimace on her face.

“You’re gonna see Kuvira?” Asami asked, her voice breaking a little. “When were you gonna tell us you were planning on doing this?” Mako inquires.

“Right now, technically” Korra jokes “I thought I could find out everything she knows about Guan.”

Asami ponders for minute at her words “That makes sense actually. It’s probably best I don’t go, I can’t be in the same room as her.”

“I know” Korra assures her grabbing her hand and squeezing it in a loving gesture “I wasn’t gonna ask any of you to come with me. I know Kuvira has done enough to you all”

“I’ll go” You blurted causing Bolin, Mako, Korra and Asami to look at you. _Why did I say that?_ You thought. The other end of the table was in their own world by now and had probably not heard the conversation.

“You will?’ Korra broke the silence.

“You will?” Bolin repeated.

“Yeah, I might as well get out of the house” You shrugged taking a swallow of your water.

“Um… Ok then. We’ll leave in a few minutes” Korra said. You finished what was left in your bowl, beginning to get up.

— —

Naga slowed down as you approached the prison. Korra hopped off of her beginning to walk toward the door. You followed suit. This was it. You were finally going to see her face to face again for the first time. As you got closer to the door, a wave of nausea swept through you. Oh my god! You were going to see her face to face. Your heart started to race. Your breath quickened. You tried to focus on your breathing. To calm yourself down but all you ended up doing was make yourself panic more.

“Are you ok?” Korra asked with concern. You glanced over at her as her steady walk became slower, she was looking directly at you. You halted squeezing your hands into a fist at your side. You always use that to calm yourself down when you were little. Korra stopped in her tracks beside you, posture unsure.

“Woah, Are you ok?” She asks again, more dire in her tone. You didn't answer her. You just kept your focus on your breathing trying to slow it down. It didn't work. More panic set in. You could do it.

“I can’t” You whispered, fist still clenched. “You can’t what?” Korra asked

“See her. I can’t see her” You clarified, breathy in your tone. Your focus shifted between Korra in front of you and the prison behind her. Korra’s expression grows more concerned but confused until her face relaxes in realization. You look at her tilting your head slightly.

She straightens her posture “ This is why you haven’t eaten isn’t it?” She asks. You stare at her feeling the tears well up pits of your eyes.

“Yeah..” You admitted softly, concluding there was no use in keeping it to yourself anymore.

Korra didn't respond. You could see her pondering something but you couldn’t quite figure out what it was. “I don’t know what she did you. But seeing as it’s causing this much stress I am truly sorry. I’ll go in alone and you can stay by Naga, Alright?” She offers

You wipe a stray tear from your eye “Alright” 

— —

You sat leaning on Naga’s hind leg. You had been sitting there for well over 20 minutes and your legs were starting to get numb. Suddenly you see the doors open in the corner of your eye. You swiftly get yourself up standing before Korra.

“How did it go? What did she say about Guan? You inquired

“ She suggested I take her with us to Gao ling.” She answered “What? Why?” You exclaimed, scaring Naga a little. _She’s not seriously tying to break out like that, is she._

“She thinks he’ll be easier to convince if we bring someone he knows, someone he respects” She answers.

“And are you gonna do it?” You asked. “I don’t know.” She answered honestly.

Fate is a funny little thing. It twist and it bends wrapping around anyone and anything. Even when you thought you would never have to see her again. When you thought you wouldn’t have to feel the blunt of what she’s down. And the burden of what you didn't do. The guilt consumed you, chipping away at your once strong stature. Fate has no ruler.Fate is inevitable. And apparently so is she. 

“Oh, And another thing” Korra started as you both began to get onto the large polar bear dog “She asked about you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise there will be interactions between y/n and kuvira coming in the next chapter. Just bear with me.


	3. Why didn't you tell me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna start doing this thing where I add songs to the beginning of the chapter to set the tone for some of the more prominent emotions and themes that occur in the chapter. Or just put one cuz I feel like it lmao.
> 
> Anyway, Here is the song for this chapter:
> 
> I can't breathe by Bea Miller

A year ago

_“You never talk about your parents” You inquire, speaking softly as to not break the haze of happiness that surrounded the two of you as you lay wrapped in each others arms cuddling. She pauses for a second before answering “That’s because there’s nothing to tell. They uh…. abandoned me”_

_You frown, squeezing her a little tighter in your arms. Your heart squeezed. “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have asked” You retreated not wanting to hear anymore of the sliver of pain you heard in her voice a second ago. A silence falls over the two of you._

__

_“Promise me you’ll stay” Kuvira says so softly you almost missed it. You lift your hand, caressing her cheek slowly. You stare deeply into her jade green eyes“I promise”_

Present

“She asked about you”

The words kept replaying in your head as you gradually lost the meaning of them. You didn’t know how to comprehend it not matter how much you tried. The entire journey back to air temple island you couldn’t get your mind off of it.

_“She asked about_ **_you”_ **

She had been thinking of you. Was she also tormented with the idea of never seeing you again? Was she afraid of it like you were? It was a lie, it had to be. There is absolutely no way she cared for you as much you did her. **That** was what you couldn’t comprehend. The amount of times she left you alone to be with him for the “greater good of her plan.” The reassuring looks she gave youwhen the two of you were alone. With eyes you couldn’t even look at anymore.

— —

“Y/N and Korra are back!” Bolin exclaimed from the courtyard. You remained expressionless as Bolin, Mako and Asami approached you two.You folded your arms in front of you.

“Did she help?” Asami asked looking at Korra. “I’ll be in my room” You say beginning to walk into the temple. 

“Woah, Are you ok?” Asami calls out from behind you. “I’m fine! Stop asking me that” You respond annoyed. You could feel they were all watching you as you disappeared inside.

“Did something happen? What’s wrong with her?” Bolin asks as the the three of them turn back to face Korra.

“I don’t know” Korra interjected “ But I know this is why she hasn’t eaten.”

“You think it had something to do with Kuvira?” Mako asks, a hint of confusion.

“I know it is because she told me” Korra confirms.

“I wonder what happened” Asami challengedlooking between them “Bolin, Do you know?”

“Hey, Don’t look at me” Bolin shrugs.

“I asked Kuvira what to do about Guan” Korra starts in which the three of them snap their attention to her “She wants us to take her with us”

— —

You rushed down the hallway into your room, not caring to shut the door. You were finally alone. Now you could react. You covered your mouth as a single sob escaped it. You quickly wiped your face getting frustrated with yourself. Why were you crying? You were so sick of crying. You shut your eyes briefly letting out a shaky breath. Your hands rose to your head resting your finger tips on your temples and closing your eyes. Every intake of breath got deeper, more shaky. Every outtake of breath grew in force and sharpness. This wasn’t working. You could feel yourself winding up and kept fighting against it. Like your emotions were about to burst, like you were about to burst. Your skin become as hot as iron and your clothes felt as though they were now 10 layers thicker. You were slipping. You lowered to the ground letting your knees drop with a gentle thud.

Your spiral is broken by a knock at the door. You swiftly wipe your eyes not turning around to face the person. “Bolin, I just want to be left alone right now” You call out putting your head in your hands.

“It’s not Bolin” Korra confessed causing you to turn your head to look at her. You turned back around. She had a concerned look painted on your face that warned you of what was to come. More looks of sympathy. More asking if you were ok. You were tired of that.

“What happened to you that you’re not telling us?” Korra inquired, speaking barely above a whisper. You let out a shallow laugh as a tear escaped your lashes. You looked up at the ceiling searching for an answer. It had become a routine for you to look up at it thinking about everything that had gone so wrong.

“What hasn’t happened?” You joked shaking your a little. You felt the familiar burning of freshly brewing tears at the base of your throat. You swallowed it with distain. Korra remained quiet behind you. But you could tell she wanted to say something more. That she wanted to fill the silence. You beat her to the punch.

“I’ve been cheated on …. Lied to and the worst part is” You paused as your voice cracked a little

“The worst part is I allowed myself to go through it.”

“You told me you didn't know what she did to me” You started closing your eyes in defeat “But it was my mistake to fall in love with her”

You heard her walk in front of you and kneel down. You kept your eyes closed, concluding it was easier to say this without having to look at her. You licked your lips before continuing “She didn't love batter jr, she never did” You admitted. “Yet she always chose him. For 3 years she chose him”

You were definitely crying now. So much so that you didn't even bother wiping the tears that ran down. You open your eyes letting out a loud exhale of breath. You almost immediately make eye contact with her. Her eyes were softened with concern, so was the rest of her face.

“You know you’re the first person to ask me what happened since I got here?” You confessed, voice barely above a whisper. She seems taken aback by this. “Everyone constantly asked me what was going on, why I was acting the way I was” You whispered. You worked your jaw looking down again. You played with your hands gathering the words to continue. “Funny isn’t it” You mumble still looking at your fingers.

“What?” She asked giving you more room to talk.

“I was forced to keep us a secret for three years and now that I can actually tell anyone I still keep it a secret” You wiped your nose bringing your hand back to it’s fiddling. Your eyebrows kneaded together as you waited for an answer.

“ I had no idea. Y/N I’m so sorry” Korra said honestly, hands folded in her lap. “Me, too” You admitted honestly looking up at her. Her being so close made the look on her face stronger, more overwhelming. “Me. Too” You repeated.

She put a hand on your shoulder causing you to look into her eyes . “You don’t have to go at it alone anymore. You’re no longer isolated in the earth empire. You have me, and Bolin and Asami” She comforted “I wish you would have told me sooner.” She gave your shoulder a reassuring squeeze. You didn't respond. You didn't need to.

“After you left I talked to them about what Kuvira suggested” She relayed “ We’ve agreed that her coming with us is the best solution.”

You looked away at a spot on the floor behind her. “But hearing what you just said I’ll understand if you don’t want to be around her-” Korra said.

“No!” You interjected cutting her off. “I mean” You started “I can’t keep running from my problems. I’ll go where ever we can help people. Even if that means with her”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buckle your seatbelts kiddos, We are in for a truckload of angst!
> 
> Oh yeah and also finally a reunion between Y/n and Kuvira.


	4. Now look at us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoo, I'm on a roll! Two chapters in 2 days. ; )
> 
> Song:  
> Decode by Paramore 
> 
> (tbh the lyrics of this song I feel really encompass y/n's thoughts/emotions)

You remembered little of the days leading up to Kuvira’s temporary release. Just that you seemed to shift from a brooding, saddened sack of bones to an actual human being. You opened up a bit more, relaying what you told Korra that fateful day to Bolin, Asami, and Mako. In which you got some particularly interesting information on the history of the relationships between Mako, Asami, and Korra. You were a giggling mess as Bolin enthusiastically shared the messy details of their past which of course resulted in the uncomfortably stoic postures and ruby cheeks worn by them. A gentle warm feeling set in as you went to sleep that night. You welcomed it. It was the first almost positive emotion you had felt in a while. But of course, it didn’t last. 

“— —I just need to get out of these prison rags” You hear Kuvira say across the room. That morning Korra had gone to collect her from outside of the prison. Immediately they got on the airship and there you were in the main area sitting on the couch waiting. She looked around the airship, finding you immediately with her eyes. You weren’t looking up but you could tell she was staring in your peripheral. You simply looked at the many groves and bends of your fingers. You wouldn’t look at her, you couldn’t. All the time you took mentally telling yourself that you would face her with no hesitation all down the drain. Your heart beats a little faster. 

You hear someone’s footsteps retreat as the room remained still. You were both alone now. Your senses heightened as your anxiety set in. Suddenly you could hear the gentle brush of the air against the airship outside and the way it causes a light howl that encircled the structure. You could hear the steady rhythm of your breath as your chest rose and fell in your seat. Then the steady rhythm of someone else’s breath entirely. Someone in front of you. 

“Y/N…” The familiar rasp of her voice whispered. Your breath hitched as your fingers stopped their fidgeting in your lap. She lowered herself to the table in front of you, now eye level with you. You still haven’t looked at her. 

“Please look at me” She begged, her tone void of its usual strong stature. You shook your head letting in a sharp breath “I can’t” you croaked, voice unsteady. You felt soft fingers lift your chin. As soon as you looked into her eyes you couldn’t stop yourself. Her hair was down which was uncharacteristic for her but her face was the same. Green eyes that were dark and focused. Olive skin that had been frequently kissed by the sun. Pink lips as plump as the clouds in the sky. Her signature beauty mark beneath her left eye. She was exactly the way you had remembered. So overwhelmingly beautiful. 

“No amount of words can be said to atone for everything I did to you” She started, looking intently into your eyes. You couldn’t bring yourself to say a word. Or move for that matter. “But I’m so sorry” Her voice faded to a whisper. She swallows thickly before continuing.

“And I know that saying sorry won’t be enough - “ She says

“It won’t” You reply robotically. Her mouth is still agape from being cut off as she continues to look at you. She seems to be waiting for something, anything, to flash across your face but your features remain stagnant. 

“I love you” She confesses strongly this time, her tears at the brink of falling. She blinked them away waiting for you to respond. You simply stared at her. You shook your head looking away. Your hand rose to your mouth as you were suddenly hit by a wave of nausea. You swallowed it instead. You pushed yourself up, hand still over your mouth. She stood up with you. 

You didn't look at her anymore. 

“What..” You whispered, hand still over your mouth. “I love you” She repeated trying to get you to look at her. “No..” You whispered to yourself more than to her. You swayed slightly indicating you were about to walk away. She grabbed your wrist. You jerked it from her grasp “Don’t touch me” You warned making your gaze deadly. She had no right to touch you not after what she’s done. She paused, raising her hands in defense. “Sorry” She mutters bringing her hands down. You manage to maneuver by her to get around the tables. You stood there facing away from her.

“I love you and I should have told you earlier. I put the empire before you when in reality you were all I needed” She said, emotion thick in her tone.

You stayed silent. Your head down as silent tears fell. You didn't know what to do. All those years craving these words, craving her affection and now you have it. But you didn't believe her.

“Please say something..” She begged, in a hushed tone. “ Say anything. Say you’re angry. Say you hate me. Say Something!” the last sentence, she practically yelled. Now,  ** this ** set you off.

“You don’t get the right to be angry!” You seethed pointing a finger at her. “Not when you forced me to keep us a secret and every night you were sleeping with him” You were yelling now. You didn't care if the whole damn world heard.

“Y/N..” She started

“I’m talking!” You cut her off taking a step closer to her around the table “You got engaged to him!”

“It didn't mean anything!” She blurted.

“It meant something to him!” You yelled, “And it meant something to me, because it made me feel like what we had meant nothing to you.” 

“What we had meant everything to me! I never loved him” She confessed, stepping a little closer to you. She was now standing right in front of you. You were seething with rage. Your breathing grew heavy as you watched her. She looked down for a second before returning her gaze to yours.

“I don't believe you” You whispered as you shrugged your shoulders slightly. The back of your throat burned as you looked at her through unshed tears.

“It’s the truth, Y/N” She pleaded softly, looking down. She moved one of her hands to grab yours by your side. She didn't grab it completely. You didn't let her. She simply traced her middle finger along yours before pulling away. Your head was turned in the opposite direction as a sob escaped your mouth. You covered your mouth storming away. Her hand left yours leaving a ghost of her touch. 

Your shoulders shook as the heaving sobs escaped you. You entered your room down the hallway slamming and locking the door behind you. Your back hit the door as you slid down to your butt. You tried to catch your breath as you continued sobbing. But it was no use. You sat there silently weeping for a long time. 

— —

Eventually, when managed to catch your breath you got up to lay on your bed. However, you didn't try to go to sleep. You just laid there on your side staring at the wall in front of you, replaying to the argument over and over in your head. Occasionally you heard quieted knocks outside the door, followed by ‘are you ok’ or ‘we’re about to eat dinner, you need to eat.’ In which you ignore them, staring blankly at the wall. You felt so many emotions at once that you couldn’t feel anything. 

All for the sake of her. 


	5. You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is really short but I felt like this moment deserved it's own chapter

You shook awake, blinking your eyes to adjust to the now darkness that is the room. You rose swinging your legs over the side of the bed. You rubbed the sleep from your eyes, blinking rapidly again to adjust. You squinted looking at the clock on your bedside table.  _ 8:00.  _ You grimaced as your stomach growled. You pushed yourself up, swaying a little as you stood. Your head pounded like a drum. You staggered to the door unlocking it. Immediately when you stepped in the hall you shivered.  _ Why is it so cold out here?  _ You thought. The hallway was still as you looked left and right. Everyone was probably asleep. You tiptoed down the hall to the main area of the ship, arms wrapped snuggly around you. 

Entering the main area, the atmosphere grew even colder. Your bottom lip quivered a little as you took in a shaky breath. As you passed the couch you noticed a slightly quivering kuvira passed out asleep. She was crunched on her side with her hands folded together at her chest. You noticed she had something on other than her prison clothes.  _ Asami probably gave it to her _ You concluded. But now you felt guilty watching her shiver uncontrollably.  _ She couldn’t have asked for a damn blanket _ you cursed. You rolled your eyes turning to walk towards the pseudo kitchen area. There was no stove. Only a collection of wooden cabinets that held food. You bent at the waist opening one of them. There was a bowl of seaweed noodles that were still a little warm.  _ Oh so that’s what they had.  _ You grabbed it carefully closing the cabinet door. You picked up a pair of chopsticks digging in. 

“There’s bread in the other cabinet” Your eyes snap to Kuvira who was now sitting upright. Your chewing halted before you swallowed your noodles slowly. You set the bowl on the counter beside you checking the other cabinet. She was right. You glanced at her. You grabbed the small loaf taking a bite out of it. 

“I’m glad you're eating” She says before laying back down. You paused. Your jaw worked as swallowed the last bite, breathing hard from all the chewing. You picked up the noodles again, going back to finish those. 

“I should’ve never taken you for granted” She started from being the couch “I put the empire before our relationship when it was all that kept me going. You were the reason I got up in the morning, not baatar, not the empire. You.”

Your eyes started to well.  _ She’s never said anything like that before _ you thought. You rose your hand to your mouth, curling your fingers. Your trance remained unwavering on the back of the couch. But of course the your vision blurred a little from unshed tears.

“And I know you must hate me now but I’ll spend the rest of my life earning your trust if I have to” She whispers before the atmosphere returned to still silence.

You managed to blink your tears away as you quietly cleared your throat. You were taken aback. You didnt know how to process what she had just confessed. But some part of you knew it wasn’t a lie. Or at least some part of you hoped it wasn’t. 

You placed the bowl in the sink, continuing to ponder. You stalked away passing the couch. You halted, deciding you were gonna say what you had been thinking. 

“I never hated you" You said before continuing back to your room.


	6. Author's Note

Hello! So I know you all expected a chapter from this post but I am back in school from spring break this week so I don't really have much time to write. With that being said the next couple of chapters will be spaced out by more time than that last 5. But not too much because I definitely love writing this story and have made an entire playlist of songs that inspire me of it.

With that being said, I already have thought of plans for my next work which will also be a Kuvira x reader but will take place a n alternate universe where Kuvira never went to jail instead she got the house arrest on air temple island where she will remain until she's done helping team avatar clean up her mess of the earth empire. Which will also be enemies to lovers ( I just love that trope so much) Comment if you think that is a good premise and as always have a wonderful day lovelies!


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